I Wish I Knew

It's hard being kept from someone that you love. Distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder - but I think it also produces doubts. I mean, deep down I know the situation. I know that he doesn't call me every day because he doesn't have a ton of money and that eating is a little more important than talking on the phone - but I'm getting to the point where I am bitter because he doesn't call. It makes me mad and it makes me think thoughts like, "I'm glad he doesn't call and when he does I'm not picking it up anyway." I know I will, when he calls, but why doesn't he fucking call?? I know I answered my own question, but for real. This sucks. Tomorrow is Christmas and I just want to hear his voice. I need him to tell me everything's going to be okay because I don't believe it so much anymore. If I knew life was going to suck this hard I never would have signed up.